haiz.. y Y y! i really need someone to be my pillar..but y no one wanna be one?

tired and lost... dunno go where... all my friend is like so FAR away from me le..

dunno is i really cant sleep or izit jus cos they say before the day u sure cant sleep de.. so now im kinda awake? its 445am haiz.. time ticking pass.. i getting more excited den afraid.. haha.. cus its going to me a new me .. new HEN .. im going to be ugly.. but tough.. black? hmm.. haha i wanna know wat will be everyone's comment when they see me..

things are bout to fall in place..
i got few things i wanna say to some ppl
if possible jus read ur part
to buii:
im really glad that i know u in life..
things seems nt to be in the good side for me in year 2005 .. but whenever i called u.. u will sure listen to my complain like a granpa talk to the young ger..
but u nv complain.
REALLY WANNA SAY A BIG THANKS TO U ..

next is ber..
buddy~i know u had a year that is worst den me..
but u dun like to talk bout it or.. im jus useless to be nt there..
really guilty.. and now i really have to be "gone" from tam cos my camp is so very far i have to wait till april or even may lidat den can have to chance to meet u all again le.. really thank u for so being understanding at all times.. even when im giving attitude u will still be there budds 4ever ~

vicki:
dun really know will u see my blog nt .. but jus wanna say sorri and thanks you~ we r good frenz ya?

to tiin !!! we best fren right? i better see ur msg on 9 dec morning ah.. wahaha.. tc

to my beast bros.. sometimes i wonder .. do u guys really need me in the group or am i jus an extra? till this day i still dunno the ans.. but jus bear in mind that no matter wat happen u all will always in my heart..

ming loon : jus becreful of that biatch! she will betray u someday some how..or maybe she will jus bring havoc to ur life..jus tc ba..

to EVERYONE:
plz tc of urself.. jus leave me a msg if u wanna find me.. ill reply asap if i can..
i think this is all i can think of for now.. really gonna miss everyone..
PS: those of names nt mention doesnt mean i nthing to say to u ... nor izit i nv tot of u .. jus simply u r included in the TO EVERYONE section =x

was at home these few days or jus hanging around tam doing nthing.. sianz... so happy that ber called this morning asking me to have dinner .. cos i going amry le.. den watch tv.. den this phrase pass through my mind"if u dun play or do the things u wan , then when u reach old age wont it be too late to regret?"

confession before i go in... next friday is the day... friends i realli gonna miss u all those ppl i nt close to... belive me... i still take u as a good fren in heart... close fren u will always be remed ... sorry to those i gave attitude ... ive seen everything i know im wrong le... realli dun wanna hurt anynoe by words... very sorry...

today went school as usual .. our class had a talk from the head chairman of old chan khee.. not sure correct spelling not.. kk nt important.. nt bad had some new tots bout life.. den happily went home.. thats where the bad news came... my mum say going out to buy dinner for me... and i said yes.. so i stayed at home for my dinner... but little did i know that this day come so soon... MY ENLISTMENT LETTER.. WHY? why so soon ? mani might think im panicking is cos thjings is tough.. but its not... its all cos of one thing... RELATIONSHIP not bgr.. all my frens.. my bros... my sisters... buii... dar... my mummy.. haiz...been out for bout 6hrs... but its beed bugging me the whole while.. jus wanna say... im gonna miss u all... SAR 42 on 09dec at 800am bye~

its been some time ever since i updated here.. sure have lots of gaga around de.. some ppl must be thinking y this faggot so long nv blog le.. not i dun wan .. is either im busy.. or its cos nthing much have happen.. this year is the year i hate most... so much fresh things im exposed to.. its great but its so short.. so mani loved once getting hurt.. haiz.. my granny fell down not long ago.. so worried.. i wonder this "new group"of mine can stand how long? i gave up so much cos of them.. do they know? i dun think so.. haiz.. wanted to change skin but realli lazi... and not enough materials.. benz~~~~ where is the pic u said u wanna help me wif? haha.. im glad u two doing fine.. p.s. hx i still hate u~ cos u still owe me a apology!

ytd heard a very bad news in the morning while i was study .. i guess quite alot ppl know this case.. there was this guy drown at sentosa.. and yes he is my fren not a very good one.. but i good got impression on him.. but haiz.. no chance to see him anymore le.. and that makes me no mood to study den whole aftermoon of ytd den wan xin hor say meet me 5 so i pon sch so i can go hm change ... den i wait like idiot at home till 6! still no news! finally she pick the phone she nt even hm yet! den end up ytd no go le.. den today jus went... haiz... i almost cant tahan wan cry le la~! >< den heard some bad things at there bout the death... haiz.. i now still thinking...

... jus type finish den press wrong button.. all gone le... nvm ba..lazy to say so much le.. jus to say ytd after chionging.. went lau pa sa.. den after that went esplanade near the merlion there wor.. den at there think alot of stuff... haiz... i still haven have my sdream come true.. i got my bd wish for this year le... which is to have a gf to pei me at there.. haiz..

its been another long time ba.. today feel so ... haiz.. den lucky ming called me go out nua.. den we talk bout alomost anything ba... den happen to say bout doing his new blog skin... den when i think of mine.. haiz.. all the pics a gone.. so when i reach home actually wanna play maple de.. but when i see that nick i so sian lo.. everything i teach him de den he so hao lian .. as if he know more den me bout maple... who teach u hit wat at wat lvl de ? who teach u drink warrior pot de? to make ur sb stronger? arg! nvm den so i came here from here and there take here and there den i came up wif this "new" skin ba.. do some comment on my "new" tag board.. wont be taking out the old one jus in case..

hmmm ~ its been a long time since i up dated ... i guess some of the ppl might wan to know wat i have been up to~ so here goes~ i have found my self a gf at *longlong time ago* and the first week was great (like all my other ex gf)but things went wrong she is not that good after all... she keep demanding me going down to go down to her work place at koven or izit kovan? nvm .. i go lo... den where she live leh? woodland leh!!! i dun mind as i really love her that time.. and everytime i go down she can slowly take her time do this do that...den let me wait for half an hour(her best time)(her worst? three fuking damn hours!) and she didnt even say a thing ! wtf! nvm i ren~ nv be so low to myself den ber kept giving me advise .. ty~ i know she is not happy her self.. ber cheer up u dun have them u still got buii , benz, nette , ma and etc ma~ *this is already past jus feel like talking bout it ba..*

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cant sleep again... now is 530am ... omg... haiz... was browsing throught thewebs... ans saw this... i find it quite usefull... 1) Some people are miserable because they choose to see all the wrong and none of the right ... 2) sometimes it takes a set of unpreferred circumstances and grueling trials to lead you to a better perspective and maturity 3) though many people know about unselfish love, many people talk about it, and many people teach it, only a few have actually reached the depth to live it. 4) the less you move, the less you feel like doing so. 5) some people are with you because of what they get around your company, some people are with you because of what they can give you. there's a difference. 6) Sometimes when you feel backed up in a corner, and you move away, you only feel alone because you fail to see all the people who want to help but don't know how. 7) To hurt a person physically merits a temporal punishment, but to damage reputation, such crime is an eternal sin. 8) Despite the way the world may seem, there are good people out there, some willing to help, even if they may never have met you personally. 9) The way you view things is not necessarily the way the world does. The way you are to people does not mean they will be the same to you. It does not mean that anyone is wrong. Just that people are different. 10) When the richest man in the world gains his greatest fortune, he will still want more. The happy man is he who does not such fortune becuse he can be happy with what he already has.

jus got home from the wedding dinner... the food was ok... but the ppl there abit ... u know...

WTF GOD DAMMIT!!! Y izit things have to be in this waY???!! KNNB! finally things like love life have nthing to do wif me le... and i got nothing to worried or sad bout! and y izit this thing got to happen! my best brother i ever had! we may not know each other for VERY long BUT its NOT very short to me lo! but y things got to be like this for him! if anything happen to him.. i'll HATE u GOD! whenever im down his jus beside me... y cant i do the same? sobing.. signing out..

WOW! time fly real quick! its been a month since i last update... and he finally went in camp i can relax le... den this few days pei my very good bro... its been sometime since i last saw him... den keep staying up late... omg... 6am sleep 6pm wake up omg! dunno y my life become so funny de haha... dun worry ill still smile infront of ppl... so dun worry... i may look the same ... but its the new henry... jus take ur time and see... jus got a call from my ex class mate! omg... y call me? haha... she happy bd party so calling me down... we know each other for like... six years? haha... cant wait for that day to come ... and i wanna go sentosa!

went to sparks and MOS dunno go for wat also... maybe too bored ba... but at least i wont think that much lo... spend money like water lidat lo... den see mani ppl dance till very sialan makes me wanna improve more leh... haiz...

today mood swing till very jialat kept thinking bout the unthinkeble>.< den whole day very sad.. den i noe that im a weakling ...

jus woke up now tmd no mood slept at 5+am den now 12+ wake up le also dunno do wat.. everyday lidat! i wan a change! but wat can i do? actually also dun wanna blog de... is cos ytd when through some bad a gd things so i wanted to put it here to a memorialble stuff for me... ytd woke up at 1030 lidat wor... so long nv wake up that early... den prepare lo... den end up wait there for half an hour lidat.... haiz... den tts nt all den i happen to hear a news tt i know one day will be out... he betrayed me again! wat gd do u gain??? go to hell la u! and those who wan to lisaten to him... go think ba... how i treated u all... den went to J8 den walk here and there den see the most beautiful mum competition.. wow some of them reall nice lo... but still kept on thinking den wnet to bugis after tt den bought some stuff den sms ask her tonight how lo... den ask me where am i ... den i sae bugis lo... den after tt went home le went reach home she tell me meet orchard -.-'' i was like omg lo... actually is meet her frens and her at tam den change plan =.='' den i bo bian lo... den ownself go wisma find them .. den on train gave buii and dar miss call den they call me talk talk lo... den wahahaha after i got up saw a DJJ come up wahaha got seven marks wor ... den ccb lo... one uncle come in take news paper see like no tml lidat block other ppl view... den i told them den i think the uncle heard it den take out a smll book instead haha... den reach le they finish their dinner o.O? den very funni went here and there walk here and there so aimless lo... haha.. den end up at heeren find mandar's cousin.. den finally we go take cabbi3 go down to tanjong pagar haha den met another fren den end up all ive seen before de haha so nt much gab ... den i notice ONE thing all of us dunno the way and all of us is first tim3~ omg den 3nd up ask here ask there haha den finally found th3 place den went in haha at first tmd bored but finally kick come le haha... den saw alot of frens there lo.. den all ask m3 sam3 question ... "You got come MOS d3 m3h?" -.-'' haha d3n had a good tim3 dancing wif so mani ppl "wif" m3 wor... den had som3 toking wif h3r h3r3 and th3r3.. nv had so much for so long but i find that mos and sparks no diff l3h... haiz but after 3v3rything over things seems boring again ... i think ill go th3r3 mor3 mayb3 tts the onli plac3 i can find my happin3ss.. and her onli..

jus came home with a VERy heavy heart ... the story goes like this today slack whole day at home den went out wif my exclassmates or my brotherz i can say... den i found out there was no activity going on and i had to wake up early tml so i told them i go off first.. *the important part starts here* when i was walking home by the road outside century den i was puzzled y is there so many pp up front, so i walk and walk towards it *nt i kpo is have to walk past* den i saw a lady lying down on the groud wif a guy holding on to her head and the guy's hand is full of blood.. he is like crying and calling someone i think is the gal family ba.. i stood ther stunning thinking after awhile i carry on walking home.. wif heavy foot steps... kept thinking and thinking... And the conclusion i had is *treasure the one u care u love u wan before its too late*i may nt have gd engliah but hope u all understand wat i mean ... TC~

nowadays so boring... i will onli get calls from ppl who need my help.. haiz.. felt so unwanted but lucky still got buii buii and dar dar pei me wor... if not i really feel like banging my head on wall le... den dunno y all my school fren all like diff ppl le.. felt so very the wat... haha... den other den that everyday slack at home le... cos low on cash~ haha... anyone got job to intro ma???

and as i said this year is a bad year... for evryone not onli the rabbits... i jus hope evrybody is fine... haiz... sad...

i have not been going to school le cos theres actually alot of things happening to me these days... and i really mean alot... i going to cant take it le... and the one who can stood by isnt there... but at least i still got some good frens wif me... in the world now i onli belive 5 guys and three gals..haiz... sad right but dun care... haha... i jus hope everything will be back to normal again...

jus finish formatting... haiz... lost some files... bout my frens my ex and stuff lidat... sianz... now going to school le but dun feel like lei...

one last post before i reformat my com... keep lagging out of game!#%^*(&#$^&^$ have been alone for these days unless going out awhile... hope to go out more wif someone... haiz... anyway ... hope everybody is fine... takecare...

I had jus knonw some truth... and i feel sad bout it... not bgr or wateva... Its friends... thats all i say.... Ask me if u think u r my good fren....

jus woke up after days fun at others home... but now jus me alone... and i jus went to see her blog and i read .. wow... she got stead le... how fast... hai... but who am i to care.. wat i can do is wish her good luck ba...

after reading the tag board and after some msn fren talk to me.. they always say i got lots of fren... yes i do... but how many of them actually talk to me everyday? none of them anyway if they do ill go crazy.. but after counting not more den 20 .. out of more den 300 in phone book... i dun wish to have good life i dun wish to have lots of money i jus wish there is a point of meaning for me to live on... so right here im waitning fot that day to come...

actually i went to bed and started to sleep le.. but she ... y her? y did she come bother me again? haiz... den i realise i didnt read of my friends blog for a long time le... den go read lo... den i realise one more thing.. all my friends is feeling beta le... which is good i bless all of u... sudden felt of sadness filled my heart...

didnt blog cos my keyboard is spoiled few days ago -.-'' haha... i think im oki le... and im totally fine bout "dooms day" but im still at a total lost bout wat im gonna do next in my life...

Hi to everyone again... this will be the blogskin for now will be changing soon again... And im bored i wanna go out! haiz...

i have not been blogging cos i didnt spend much time at home since that THING happen... cos i dun wanna be alone... and im glad im not.. got my bros wif me... those 8 bros de few of them and my 2 year bro.. i know its not long but at least its longer den a love relationship... and i think im oki le.... thanks! and i think the onli think that can keep me occupied other den them is dancing ba... and i hope u will still keep ur promise that u will go to that place wif me ba...

everything have ended le... bye... tc... lying dead...

anyway jus got home... and its 1a.m. le... cos tian ming ask me out to chat ma... gtg sleep also le... haiz bye ppl~

jus got home... today went school den went home den went ming house play game till im going crazy le... feel like playing again... haha... den went to find her at school but nearly went pass her lucky i stop haha... actually not much going on these days jus me and her onli lo...

today morning woke up whole body numb... den waited till 7am den wake her up lo... den finally i can walk around her house le... den send her to my block den i go up le... den she go for her flag day le... haha... den jus a hour or two ago i was stress i dunno y i jus do... but thanks to the bros ... i felt better they told me somethings... and i learn alot from them... thanks guys i appreciate alot! den now teck went crazy le... kept taking rubbish... den i am here typing this lo... cos i waiting for them to start... haha...

jus got home after spending my whole day after school at her house... AND important~ im gonna love my life not this year... haha... and wanna say sori to my bros... sori calvin and teck... cos of rejecting ur invitation to play game wor... and sori ming... for not going down pei u ... sori everyone... i hope u all understand...

Y do ppl always walk big round? when it is jus so near? WAHAHAHA i gonna love this year... Yeah on 12/1/2005 ! you r so special you will be the onli one... i love u... I dunno y... i jus do... ill promise u when i know tt i can do it... A new topic of my life starts now... and i pray, pray to all gods... it wont end..

today sick den my frens not going to school den i think its oki since i dun think teacher will tech anything today ... so i not going also lo... now waiting for my neighbour to bath finiah den we go see doc ba... wahaha...

dunno y this few days like to blog so much... maybe cos im too bored le... haha... anyway i feel lucky, u know y? cos i have this type of family... hehe... although its a very small one that onli have my father, mother and me.. jus had dinner wif them first time in my 2 years... haiz... felt so bad...

anyway its my first day of first school... haha... actually not bad la... oki oki onli jus very sianz... den knew my timetable for the term... all so late... haiz... nvm can save money no need go out... den got new fren in the group too bad not same team as me... he was nice... den he told me that actually nvp easy go in de... his fren 2.5gpa go in le... den i was thinking if i zua this year i might still make it... so please ppl gu li me study hard... espcially those i need... hehe... haiz... oki thats it... i really hope i can make it.. den went to the field den saw those year one de... nv see any ada leh. ddiissaappooiinntteedd... haiz...

finally got home.. do tired... today sunday still need to wake up at 6.30a.m. win liao... but is go do good deed so nvm... den met my group of frens of my school at 8a.m. den went to a temple call Foo Ch'an Temple at geylang bla bla bla... near aljunied.. got there i was WA cos the statue as tall as 3 floors lidat lo... so finally got to the main point.. i was there cos of e Ren Ci Charity show.. and im in the Ren Ci Charity Hotline Team... but too bad is in the morning ... where got ppl so early call to make a more den $30 call? and waited till 10+ finally first call of the day... but too bad not mine den keep waiting till sleep lo... den at 1045 went to the toilet.. came back my fren said theres a call shit! not i pick up de... but at least got a $50 donation den i was thinking haiz... saded didnt help out... den at 1245 we going to change shift le den finally my group de rang den my hand faster hehehe den i pick up the call i was so jing zang thet i kept saying wrong things ME: good evening ar ar thank you for calling ar ren ci hotline charity hot line this is henry speaking how may i help u? CALLER: i would like to make a donation. ME: how do i address u? CALLER: N G L E E *** ME: how much u would like to donate? CALLER: 500 ME: HUH?!(i started to be more jing zang lo...)(500 leh) CALLER: ya 500 ME: may i have ur no. and u r paying by? card no.? CALLER: VISA ******************************** THANK YOU FOR CALLING =) haha i was jumping around lo.. den evryone was like -.-'' den back home le lo...

jus got back from some place where i seldom go... pub... pei my buddy... and also her bro ... so can say my bro also... that place actualli nt bad de... den farking hell ... saw the first gal i like when i step into pavi when i was sec two!!! den saw her bf... and bf's fren i hate him , but that ws the past... but today they spoil my day there lo... keep snatching my place as if they dance very nice lidat... arg~ there was this gay looking guy gan er xin lo... but nvm at least i saw the new dance step by some other pros... woo... nice... but should i go back there again?

Y do rain always come when i saw sunshine? Y!

another boring day at home... onli my com pei me... luckily got new game... but tmd lag lo... and i realise my phone is so quiet... not like before le... haiz...

haiz tio dua again ~ haiz... y izit always lidat~ nvm lo... beta i can get my spec first... hmp~ anyway glad that ming is oki le still can see him walk around in hm ... felt happy... but hmp im jealous... he didnt tag for me... hehez.. nvm lo.... >.<