another night ... cant sleep ... dunno y... wat am i thinking bout? and now is 5a.m le lo... i wan to live in a healthy lifestlye also cannot... now i so skinny le... haiz... worried...

wat a xmas!!! tio dua again!!! four years of boring xmas... lucky still have 2 bro and a sis at last min to past my time... but y must i always be single on xmas??? am i really that bad ? i used to had bad temper... very bad but i really change le.. .for i learned my mistake... i tried to by as good temper as i can le... but did i do wrong now? wat i had to accompany me now is ah long... the lizard around my room always come out to make me luff de... cos when i look at it ... it will run away as thou im a monster... but i tot i should the one who is afraid?? haiz... but at least this xmas EVE they called me go along... and i hope things will go fine wif me and them.... but jus a scent of sorrow surrounds me... i weak , very weak... jus feels like lying down ... i dunno where also... i really hopes its raining now.... i jus dunno wat to say ! but i wanna say something... theres is too much things cramp in my heart so hard to... or izit im too hungry??? XP

sianz... feel like MIA also... maybe for a few days ba... and for those i wanna meet i will find u all... but anyway no one will find me also...

im sittin on the chair and think... think is wat i do .. i can onli think but not do... im a failure.. jus feel that way.. dun ask me y... i just do... i will nv do things right.. im jus a nobody a shadow amough ppl .. a bug that is flying around finding place for comfort to rest... im tired, tired i say ... jus feel like forfiet all my str to fly and drop down form sky.. and i may be crush by others feet..m and i will be gone... wat have i done i this holiday... = nothing... wat i have been thinking to do = alot of shit.. ARG~~~

i today woke up early... cos actually wanna pei my dear mei mei go somewhere de... haiz... saded... but i think at the last min she change her mind ba... but i hope everything go smoth for her ... worried bout her... and been thinking bout GOING TO VISIT AH MING ON EVE wif lots of ppl around pei him... but i was wondering to call who~~~ and wat time all of us could make it... SO THISE WHO INTRESTED PLAESE CALL ME~~~

now is at the 0504 still haven sleep... now talking to teck dunno y also... haha keep talking bout game... -.-'''

To: my frens that is reading my blog... Sorry ppl, i sudden have the feel to pour most of my thinkings out here.... so sorry to let u all read all my broken england ah~~~ haiz.... but thanks guys... gurls... for tagging for reading for caring... i appre it ... sorry ah dunno how to spell... hee.. feel free to ring me.... take care ppl.... ill stop here... sorry again for nagging... from: immature

to buddy~~~ i may not know all ur secret ... i may not know all ur love life... i may not know wat all u like... i may not know watu dislike... i may not come out wif u often... i may not know wat u thinking evrytime but i know and im sure of one thing, im here by ur side....... take care...

i dunno y so much thing busting out of my mind out of a sudden... maybe cos this song ba... ''''''''''''''''''''''''' xin yu xin yuan''''''''''''''''''''''''''' it meant something to this person who is MIA from me and maybe others too... im worried .... im lost... like the sun have been taken out from the sky of mine... the sky is so dark that i cant even see my finger wen i put infront of my eyes... ''the following passage is for this special person" *where have u been? r u oki? please dun think bout e sad thing le... its a past ... look forward the future... have fun now.... i know u r someone who actually dun like to tell ur personal things to anyone... but i will always be there for u when u need me.... please take care... my phone is always on it will always be by my side .... * look a the sky and pray ...

jus came back from bath feeling oki ba.... but think alot of thing also... think of her... think of bros.... think of MY future... and i tot i had it all plan out... but i think i was wrong... before coming back we talk bout wat i wanna do later on in life... but they said something that is very true... and make me a lost ... lost of words lost of path... how m i going to walk on... and the onli way i could think... is the guy who is HOLY.. and his name is ''''''''''''''''' . GOD'S son ... anyway i was once a christian... i dunno y... maybe is cos of this good fren of mine trying to pull me back ba... and now i have to chose... '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''hidden'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' wan to know ask me bout it but fast if not i might forget de... haiz.... Cos i might loossssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeee my fren if i chose my 'holy' way... but i really gonna miss them lot *by thinking im busting in tears....* haiz...

jus came back from a bro outing... BBQ day... kinda tired... had kinds of bored moment and sad and craZZy moment... feel so good... being out wif a guy who i trust most but i had the way he thnks bout thing... more immature den me -.-'' i go bath first...

Sianz! cant sleep again! make me mizz him so much! haiz... tml going to see him anyway... alone wor... so far... but its oki... i know he meant something to me... but i dunno how much it was... but not being able to go out wif him for this period make me realise that he meant much to me.... n i cant see him smile and say watashi V ~~~ and wif him not around i cant laugh out real loud anymore... i pray he will be oki... and i miss the days seeing ada ada wif him... haiz... VERY sorri Ah Ming im not able to TC of everyone that is around me... very sorri... im not able to do wat u request... frens that is reading this pleas let me know u have trouble... cos im a retart an idiot... i can jus be there and sit down hear wateva u say... i may not be able to gib advice but im always a good listener*someone who sit there and tiam tiam de* =p anyway i would like everyone who come to my blog tag a small msg ... i would like to know who actually care for me... thanks~~~ tc everyone!

WoHo~~~ thw first thing i woke up is to see a msg by dear fren which says his oki le... and maybe going to see him tml , but tmd very tired lo.... slept for 2hrs onli den drew call me to bring me cut hair den after that he asked me, if i wanted to cycle not ... so i said anything lo... den ended up at my home to poo... -.-'' haha.... den we head of to beach lo... den lots of things kept passing by me... haiz... den i met 2 fren of mine ... one very long le... den one not long de... they came to find me den we went to eat den drew dun wanna come wor.... so no choice... leave him dere lo..... den we went back after eating den talk here talk this den something started to let me think again... *if u r reading this u shld noe but its oki* den at 1130 they went off le... den here came the dua kang~~~~~ haha.... song so nice ... if u dun get it y call me and ask n u will noe... LOL~~~ den we waiting for foong to come but his not here so we waited but dunno y teck wanna go find him... den i extra go tag along den while turning left n i notice we shld go straight den i shouted ZHI den teck U turn den i went ZHUO den BAM den the bike back wheel went to a shape of C den teck go use hand TRY to make ZHI den it went to a shape of S -.-'' lol lo.... den now reach home le lo... den still thinking of things .... haiz.... nvm ba... time is all it takes at thats all i have... o.O TC evryone ...

ytd went to beach wif drewwie~~~ talk bout bla bla bla and bla bla so we bla bla bla den feel alittle better... but still kinda blur .... den ill talk bout today.... jus recieve a msg frm a fren he told me somethings ... and im kinda touch wor... but hope he is well... haiz... worried.... his my best fren my bro... but haiz.... he told me to to be more sensible and control my temper... and he said although im not the oldest but at least im a guy ... so i look after the others.... sometimes taking things easy will make one feel better... and etc.... one of the longest msg i eva recieve and the meaningful ones.... after reading it i got alot of things passing my mind making me grow and im telling myself to be strong.... *bump more str* heehee.... today although im hm theres lots of thing going pass me.... *fren, love and parents* i dunno y neither am i happy nor sad.... got to comfirm some things.... tc evryone especially u....

another day of slacking at home ... woke up at 10+ -.-'' dunno who disturb me... den cant sleep le... den i dyed my hair again seems so... hmmmz... gold? so ah beng dun like... but no choice... haiz... going sleep soon... tml have to wake up early... nite everyone...

now at home slack till rotting le... jus thinking bout wat to do... where to go... meet who do wat... haiz... wat have appear is blank... haha... den ytd after dying my hair gold i tried dying grey... and..... it turns out black... arg!!! sianz.... have to dye again myself this time... den after that went to catch a movie wif nette and mic... great show wor... but real tired after that so now den blog... still thinking where to go... or should go out not...

jus woke up not long ago... Then now jus slack at home and do nothing while waiting for my best bro to come have dinner wor... miss him so much... nv had a chance to meet him nor talk to him... haiz... and now i declare im free ... from school.... but very sianz lo... wanting to look for a job... den i jus spend the afternoon thinking bout all my frens... presents and past, jus miss them lots... hope to use this holidae to keep in touch wif all of them... jus hope they r doing fine...

did something to the blog before taking a nap.. a jus woke up from it... having headach... actually wanna go meet ning they all today de... cos she will be leaving spore tml le... but too bad moi fren having bd celebration today... so no choice ba.... jus wanna say sori to ning wor... now waiting for nette to call me onli... she so slow de... xp

Just got home from school... dunno y in school im so tired that i could sleep everywhere i go... den reach home le... dun feel like sleeping... den dunno y my pic got prob... so i deleted it le.... sianz... will write another post later on...